Pairings: Setao, Kaisoo, Baekyeol
Main Characters: Sehun, Zitao, Jongin, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Chanyeol
Side Characters: Yifan, Luhan, Joonmyun, Jongdae, Minseok, Yixing
Genre: Drama, Romance
Word Count: 1,339
Summary: Oh Sehun explains to the interviewer as to why he hated his time as a trainee. He never liked those trainee days. He never liked those idol days. And he most certainly doesn't like the life he is living now.
Those Trainee Days: Prologue [0/3]
It was impossible for Oh Sehun to keep still during this interview. He couldn't stop moving around in his chair or fidgeting with his fingers. He forgot to take his pills this morning, the pills he couldn't leave his house without. There were the pills that kept him sane, kept him breathing, kept him living, and kept him still. How could he have forgotten them? It was because he could care less about his life. He didn't care if he died today, tomorrow, or right about now. He didn't want to be here. He didn't want to sit still in a chair while some stranger threw questions at him. He didn't want to answer any questions, and he didn't want to be filmed.
"What do you like to do on your free time?" The interviewer asked, smiling warmly at Sehun. Her eyes kept going from Sehun to the script in her hands, reminding him to say his lines. All of this was going live. Anything that was being said was already scripted. If Sehun didn't go by the script then there would be no way to edit things out.
"Sleep." He simply said.
"How often do you sleep?"
"Everyday." He glanced at the camera man and groaned. "Actually, I would be sleeping right about now if I hadn't been called down here to be interviewed by you good for nothing, pathe--"
The interviewer cut the upset and impatient man off with her throat. "That's great!" She said. Sehun could hear the nervousness in her voice. "D-Do you still like to dance? I remember when you and Jongin were the best dancers in EXO-K..."
"Oh. What a bummer." She licked her thumb and flipped to the next page. "Are you married, Oh Sehun?"
"No." Sehun looked down at his hands, and noticed that they were shaking. His palms were also red, yet he couldn't do anything about it. He was really starting to get impatient. He could see his prescription pills sitting on his kitchen counter, waiting to be opened. He was so desperate and tempted to ditch the interview and run back home to grab them. He thought pills would calm him down. He wanted to believe that he needed them but deep down, those pills were killing him.
"How old are you now?"
"31." He grunted under his breath. This lady was asking the most obvious questions out there. If she really wanted to know how old he was, she could just easily Wikipedia it.
"If you could marry any girl in the music industry now, who would it be?"
That was it. Sehun couldn't take any more of this.
"My pills. My pills..." He kept on mumbling. "I need to take my pills."
"E-Excuse me?" The interviewer stuttered. "I'm sorry, but that has nothing to do with what I just asked you."
"What is this? I thought you guys called me here to ask about EXO, not about me!" Sehun snapped. He got out from his chair. "Why would you ask questions about me? Why would anyone want to ask questions about me? Why would they care if I was married or not? Why would they want to know how old I am or what I like to do in my free time? I highly doubt your viewers or fans or whatever the hell you want to call them care about me or EXO. The group has been disbanded for six years! Why am I here? Why did you invite me here!?"
The interviewer wide eye'd the camera man. Her gut was telling her that interviewing Oh Sehun and making it live was a terrible mistake, yet she continued on. There was nothing to do. The camera was already rolling. She was really hoping he would cooperate with her.
"I'm sorry. You are correct." She spoke in a soft voice, hoping that would calm Sehun down alittle bit. "I will ask more questions relating to EXO."
"Or don't ask me questions at all..." Sehun said to himself, annoyed. He sat himself back down in his chair and sighed. The clock was ticking and time was being wasted. He was losing track of time, along with his patience. The two had only been in this small cubical for thirty minutes. There was about twenty-five minutes left till all of this was over. Sehun knew he wasn't even going to make it through five more.
"What do you miss more; your life as a trainee or your life as an idol?" The interviewer asked. Sehun didn't have to think about this one. He wasn't going to lie about it either.
"To be honest with you, I don't miss either of them." He slowly leaned back in his chair. "The only thing I miss is my relationship with Huang Zitao. Besides that, I wish I never signed that contract with the company. Do you want to know why?"
The interviewer stared down at her stack of stapled papers. None of that was in Sehun’s script.
"What do you think?" He went on. He didn't care if this was live. He didn't care if he wasn't going by what his script said. He wanted to get all of what he had been holding inside out. "How does my face look? I look disgusting, right?"
The lady opened her mouth to answer but didn't get the chance to. That was a rhetorical question.
"You see that my face is pale and my eyes are bloodshot red. I haven't been able to sleep at all. I couldn't even sleep when I was a trainee." Sehun picked at his sweater. "Do you see my clothes? Can you smell me? I smell awful, right? I haven't taken a shower in weeks."
The lady looked at him in disgust, but that didn't bother Sehun. He was used to getting those type of looks from people. When he walked through the streets of Seoul, people would look at him in disgust or hatred all the time.They treated him with zero respect.
"I'm fucking miserable." He said. "I'm pathetic. I'm a 31 year old man that can't even take care of himself. I'm completely broke and just lonely. I have no one to go to. Everyone has left me. The ones that I cared about the most are all gone. The one that I loved dearly and cherished with all my life has fucking left me! I can't sleep. I can't eat. I can't think clearly. I can't even take a shower."
The interviewer now looked at him in a different way. She didn't look at him with disgust. She looked at him with narrowed eyebrows and saddened eyes. Sehun didn't want her pity.
"I'm so sorry." She said, shoving the script underneath her left thigh.
He wasn't going to accept her apology, either.
"My body is unhealthy. I look unhealthy. I am unhealthy." He admitted, forcing himself to cough. He could feel something painful in his throat. It felt like needles pinching through his air pipe, giving him a hard time to breathe. "One of the reasons why I'm this way is because of that contract. It's because I signed it without having second thoughts."
"B-But why?" She asked. "What exactly happened?"
It took a while for Sehun to respond. He wasn't sure if giving out certain information in front of national television would be safe. He thought about it for a second and realized that it didn't matter. Like he said before, the viewers didn't care about him. They didn't care about EXO either.
Sehun felt something wet on his face, but tried to ignore it. He stared down at his hands and noticed that they weren't shaking. He noticed that the palms of his hands were no longer a faded red. He noticed that he wasn't fidgeting with his fingers. But the most important part was that he was keeping still.
For the first time in a long time, his body was still. And because of that, he began to cry.
Part 2 (Coming Soon)
Part 3 (Coming Soon)